Of Parrots, Ponies and Other Things
by Don't Eat That Tree
Summary: What happens when you write a story around the gibberish produced by the Bonsai Story Generator? Let's find out!
1. Magical Potions and Strange Brews

Twilight Sparkle was pacing frantically, her hooves making small noises against the castle floor which nonetheless echoed through the great crystalline halls of her castle. As convenient as it was to have a new place to live after her library had been destroyed during the fight with Tirek, the place was certainly far larger than it had any right to be, and stood out like a raven in a flock of parrots, standing tall and proud far above the rest of Ponyville.

"Oh, where is it, where is it..." the Princess of Friendship asked the empty air.

"Where is _what_ , Twilight?" Spike wondered, walking into the unnecessarily large room.

"My copy of Magical Potions and Strange Brews. You know, the one with the orange cover? I can't find it anywhere!"

"Why do you need it anyway? It's the middle of the night. Go back to sleep."

"Go _back_ to sleep? I never was asleep! I went to go get something to read before bed and noticed it was missing!"

"It's probably not missing at all. This place is huge, you probably just forgot which room you put it in."

"I never forget where my books are, Spike."

"Ooooookay. Well, the point is, you should stop worrying about it so much. It'll turn up eventually. Please, just go to bed..."

"But-" a sudden loud noise cut off the rest of her sentence.

"...What was that?" the alicorn wondered aloud.

"It sounded like an explosion."

"Which means that my worrying was useful, since we're both already out of bed and can go find out what's going on immediately!"

"...I guess so..." the young dragon replied, sighing.

Sadly, their exit was not immediate, due to the large number of flights of stairs they would have to-

"Come on, Spike, I'm teleporting us out."

...Never mind. Their exit was immediate, after all.


	2. Princess of Parrots!

Now outside the castle, the duo saw that... everything was dark.

Casting a simple light spell, Twilight looked around to assess the damage from what might have been an explosion.

The town of Ponyville seemed slightly blackened, but otherwise normal. Well, besides the strange yellow-green unicorn with rather colorful hair, who was shouting about... something. And the large number of birds nearby. Come to think of it, Twilight and the rather loud stranger were the only ponies around.

Seeing no other obvious course of action, the purple pair approached the green unicorn.

"Uh... who are you?" asked the Princess of Friendship.

"I'm the Princess of Parrots!" replied the Princess of Parrots.

"O... kay then. But what's your name?"

"My name's Mimic. What's your name?"

"I'm Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship." Twilight responded, a bit confused. Wasn't she famous or something? How did this pony not know her name?

"I'm the night." said a Seychelles black parrot.

"I am Batman!" declared a kea.

"Nobirdie asked you!" reprimanded a leaf lorikeet.

Twilight and Spike stared at the birds, then at Mimic. Mimic didn't seem to notice.

"I'm the unnecessarily large room." a regent parrot stated. The other parrots stared at it.

"So... what happened here?" Twilight inquired, getting back on track.

Mimic was silent. The regent parrot and leaf lorikeet were having a staring contest, and she was apparently judging said contest.

"Hello? I asked you a question..."

"Quiet. I'm doing my important princess duty."

The young princess and dragon stared at the apparently delusional unicorn who was staring at birds staring at each-other.

In short, there was a lot of staring.


	3. Batmarine!

The vividly colored pegasus looked up, startled. A gigantic dinosaur made entirely out of water was staring down at her, its hungry maw dripping with... well... drips.

She did what came naturally.

Diving into the water, she flailed about, attempting to attack it. Alas, her efforts were in vain. She was now inside the dinosaur.

She blinked. How was she breathing? Water surrounded her from every side. Suddenly, the monster let out a mighty roar, and the world shook.

She blinked again. There wasn't a dinosaur. She was swimming in the ocean. Colorful fish swam between vast strands of kelp and mountains of coral.

No...

Those weren't fish. Those were birds. Together, they sang wordless poetry, so pure and clean that it spoke to her very soul. The pegasus would never admit it, but she was utterly amazed by the birds' song. She almost wished it would last forever.

It was not to be, of course.

The water grew warmer and warmer, pleasant at first, but soon building up to so much heat it was impossible to bear. Desperate, she tried to swim toward the surface. It felt as though she were moving through molasses. It was _so slow._ She'd never get there. But she had to try anyway, or else she'd be boiled alive.

A string of bubbles escaped her lips as she once again remembered that ponies are meant to breathe air, not water.

The rippling surface seemed so far away...

Out of the corner of her eye, a skeletal cat sailed on an almost pristine ship. What the heck?

Never mind, she had bigger things to worry about. It felt like all her fur was melting off.

At last, air! Her strength suddenly returned and she soared high into the sky, as she was meant to.

Looking down, she saw not the sea, but the surface of the sun. She had felt Celestia's unbridled wrath and survived. Come to think of it, what could make the wise and kind Princess so angry?

Nothing had. That was not the sun. It was a pile of breadcrumbs. Scattered across the bready fragments were large drops of jam in all the colors of the rainbow. Gigantic ants feasted on them, before being encased in giant orange bubbles by a strange two-legged creature with spiky blond hair and 3D glasses. One by one, the ants imploded in their tangerine prisons. Then, the landscape shifted again.

Suddenly, a voice exclaimed "eep!"

Baffled, the young pegasus looked around. There was nothing on the strange warping ground that could...

...She looked up.

There was a submarine in the sky. Spreading great bat wings, it flapped a mighty flap... or at least, as mighty as a submarine could manage. Since submarines don't normally fly, it was still pretty impressive.

Then, the bat-submarine spoke.

"Rainbow Dash, I have some thing important to tell you. Time is short. Please listen to my words. You have..."

* * *

Rainbow Dash woke up with a start.

"...Whoa. That was a crazy dream!" She chirped.

Wait.

Chirped?!


	4. A Rude Awakening

Twilight didn't know how much time had passed. It felt like hours, though the sky remained dark. All she knew was that Mimic still wasn't talking to her. The strange pony was still insisting on judging that 'staring contest' those birds were having. Twilight was sure the birds had blinked several times by now, but if they had, Mimic had failed to notice.

Eventually, Spike persuaded the young alicorn to give up and go to bed. She could find answers tomorrow; both for what happened to Ponyville, and her book dilemma.

She awoke to the sound of screeching, followed by a dull thump.

Her eyes bolted open, and she quickly looked towards her bedroom window. A scarlet macaw was plastered up against it, appearing to have crashed into the windowpane. Using her magic, she opened the window and levitated the unfortunate creature inside. As unwise as its actions were, it really didn't deserve to fall to the ground. It was a long way down.

She placed the bird - which was still stunned by the impact - onto the foot of her bed, and attempted to drift back to sleep.

Unfortunately, she did not get the rest she desired, as the bird began to speak in an oddly familiar voice.

"Twilight! You- I- I don't know what's going on! I woke up this morning and I was a bird! You gotta help me!"

"Huh? Weren't you always a bird?" Twilight responded, not quite awake yet.

"What?! No, of course I wasn't! Actual birds don't normally come into your room and complain about being birds!" The 'parrot' replied, exasperated.

It was then that Twilight placed the voice she was hearing. It was a little more screechy than normal, but definitely familiar. "...Rainbow Dash?"

"Yeah, who'd you think it was?" The pony-turned-bird replied.

Twilight sighed. It was going to be a long day.


	5. Roll Around and Find Answers Tomorrow

Twilight Sparkle was confused by the state of her unusually feathery friend, and wanted answers. For now, though, the goal was to calm Rainbow Dash down, which she did by rolling around in her castle's massive halls.

She rolled slowly at first, then faster and faster, building up more and more momentum. She rolled so fast she caught on fire, and she was lucky that the castle wasn't very flammable. She was unlucky in that she was much more flammable than her home was. She felt the flames as they cooked her flesh and burnt away her fur, and she screamed. Then the fire started consuming so much of the oxygen in the air around her that she started to asphyxiate, and due to lack of air with which to make the sound, the screaming quickly ceased. She rolled and burnt and rolled and burnt and started to turn blue in the face. She then crashed into a vampire, which died on contact with the terrified equine fireball and didn't slow the rolling, burning, asphyxiating Princess at all. At last, she came to a stop by way of impacting the foot of an elephant which was claiming to have her social security number. She knew of course that this was impossible because they didn't have social security numbers in Equestria. The elephant wasn't helping her, and she began to wonder whether her alicorn status made her immortal. It seemed that she was about to find out.

Thankfully, she was then attacked by an inexplicable indoor waterfall, which put the fire out. The convinient-yet-oddly-hosile water then disappeared, and the Princess breathed.

Baffled, disturbed, charred and terrified, Twilight looked over at Rainbow Dash, who was still a macaw and now also soaking wet and apparently catatonic.

Buck this. She was going back to bed.

As Twilight got back into her bed and telekinetically pulled the blankets up around her, she vowed to never roll around again.


End file.
